


Dante's Slumber Party

by monsieurkittentoes



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Cold Vulcan, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, Southern yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 16:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6016696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsieurkittentoes/pseuds/monsieurkittentoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an away mission lands Leonard, Jim, and Spock in a motel with one bed, Jim suggests they share. Thus begins the worst night's sleep of Leonard's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dante's Slumber Party

“This is it, gentlemen,” said Jim with a smile. “Make yourselves at home.”

Leonard followed after his best friend, keeping pace with Spock, and walked into the cheap little motel room they had managed to secure for the night. Since it was inexpensive and generally run down, the room was small. It had cheap, almost 1980s looking drapes (it had been hundreds of years, and they still couldn't quite escape the neon triangles when it came to cheap fabrics), beige walls, and a framed print of a painting depicting local fauna. This motel claimed to be 'Terran style' and seemed to be doing a decent job of replicating every single motel on the planet Earth. Which wasn't necessarily a good thing.

There were a few distinct differences from this motel and what was standard on Earth. The first being that the bed was tall enough one needed a small set of steps to get into it. The second being that the bed was _huge_.

Finally, the fact there was, quite seriously, only one bed.

Leonard frowned. He wasn't even happy about having to share a _room_ with these people, let alone a _bed_. He wondered if the briefly considered option of sleeping in the abandoned warehouse down the street still stood.

“I guess we'll be sandwiching tonight,” Jim was saying, seeming far too optimistic about the whole thing. Of course, he was probably delighted. The jackass.

“I'll sleep on the floor,” Leonard volunteered quickly. But even as he said it, he looked down and realized he'd rather learn how to sleep standing up. The place was absolutely filthy. He supposed that was typical of Earth motels too.

“I do not require regular sleep. I will meditate instead,” Spock suggested. His voice remained its usual level, but Leonard could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn't thrilled about _“sandwiching”_ either. It seemed only Jim was happy about it.

“Spock you haven't slept in at least 10 days,” replied Jim. “And Bones, the floor is disgusting. You'll get sick. All three of us are sleeping, and all three of us are doing it in the bed.”

Leonard and Spock exchanged a look, eyebrows raised.  
“Oh for God's sake, I'll sleep in the middle.” Jim put his hands on his hips. “Now get ready for bed. Captain's orders.”

Both Leonard and Spock stood completely still, staring at their mutual best friend. Probably both wondering why they had ever let themselves become friends with someone like this, Leonard supposed.

“Well go!” Jim insisted. He shooed them.

Leonard rolled his eyes at the same time he heard Spock sigh through his nose. But both of them listened to Jim and did as they were told.

Twenty minutes later, three grown men stood around in pajamas, trying to figure out exactly how to begin this slumber party from hell.

Jim crawled in first, tucking himself into the center of the bed and shuffling under the blankets. Spock took Jim's right side, which left Leonard to scuffle into bed on the only remaining space. He was closest to the lamp, so it was his job to plunge them all into darkness and begin their descent into Dante's Inferno.

“Are you two ready?” Leonard asked them grouchily.

“Yes,” said Spock, while Jim nodded. Jim looked like he had never been happier. It was sickening.

“'Night, then.” Leonard turned off the light and laid down, facing away from the other two and shutting his eyes.

The first hour was fine. Jim squirmed a little at the beginning, but Spock didn't move at all and soon enough Leonard was able to fall asleep.

Until he woke up about two hours in, freezing. Leonard frowned groggily and reached for the blanket, assuming he must've kicked it off by accident in his sleep. But as he reached around, he couldn't find it. Reluctantly, he peeled open his eyes and peered over his shoulder.

The first thing he noticed was that Jim had gotten a lot closer to Leonard. He wasn't quite touching him – not yet, anyway – but he was curled near the doctor's back. Leonard scooted away from him a little and kept looking for the blanket, which didn't appear to be on Jim either. He finally spotted it pulled into a bunch beside Spock.

 _So the hobgoblin's a blanket-stealer,_ Leonard thought to himself. _Who would've known, with that ice water he calls blood?_

He reached over Jim and caught the edge of the blanket, pulling it back over himself. He managed to get it far enough over that he was just barely covered, and then he fell asleep again.

It was less than an hour later when Leonard was awoken by Jim rolling over and spooning his best friend. Leonard tensed immediately. Jim nuzzled into his shoulder blades and seemed perfectly content to cuddle for the rest of the night.

Leonard, however, was not happy about having the Human furnace clinging to him like a monkey. So he carefully untangled Jim's arms from around him and scooted closer to the edge of the bed. He shut his eyes determinedly and did his best to fall back asleep.

Then Spock decided to steal the blankets again, and Leonard was about ready to scream.

Turning around angrily, Leonard grabbed the blankets and pulled them back towards him. Just as he was managing to get Spock's claws out of the hideous coverlet, Jim tried to curl around Leonard again and he reacted a bit too strongly.

In an attempt to get away from the people who were making his life a living hell, Leonard jerked away from any contact with either of them – which resulted in him falling off of the huge bed with a yell.

“Bones!” came Jim's voice.

The light flickered on and two heads looked over the edge of the bed at their fallen comrade. Jim was still blinking sleep out of his eyes, an expression of concern of his face, but Spock looked like he had never been asleep at all. If anything, he looked bemused.

“Are you okay?” Jim asked, extending a hand to the heap on the floor that was Leonard H. McCoy.

“No,” Leonard snapped, waving the hand away. “The both of you are teaming up to keep me from sleeping! You with your rolling around and _touching_ and you--” he pointed at Spock “--with your blanket stealing! It's impossible for a man to stay asleep around here!”

“So you... rolled out of bed?” said Jim, his expression changing to an amused smirk.

“That is a most illogical course of events, Doctor,” added Spock with a similarly smug look on his irritating green face.

Leonard glared at them both. He stood up and shook himself off. “You both stop that right this instant,” he said, pointing an accusatory finger at the two of them. “You are going to get back into the bed, and you are going to lay there like gentlemen, and you are going to let this old man get some sleep before he goes to the grave. You understand me?”

“Yes sir,” they chorused, still looking like they were both trying very hard not to laugh.

“Scoot over.” Leonard put his hands on his hips until both of his friends had settled themselves again, giving him smirks the whole time. He ignored them and got back into bed, settling himself in and tucking the blankets close. “Now don't move,” he told them as he reached over to turn off the light. “G'night.”

Spock shifted onto this side.

“Don't move!” Leonard snapped at him.

He heard Jim laughing quietly, but both of them finally stilled, and Leonard finally fell asleep properly.

The next few hours passed without incident, and while Leonard was definitely completely exhausted, he still woke up entirely on his own, entirely too early. Opening his eyes, Leonard blinked away sleep and let a few seconds of disgruntled stillness pass. As much as he hated to admit it, this bed was very soft and comfortable. He muscles felt relaxed, even near the small bruises from falling off the bed. He felt cozy, and like if he could just stay asleep, he'd have a good night's rest here. If those horrible people he let follow him around could ever give him a few hours of rest.

Leonard finally turned to look at the people in question, wondering how they were faring. But when he turned, he was faced with Spock. Staring at him with glassy, dark, Satanic eyes.

Leonard screamed.

Jim suddenly sat bolt upright, which just startled Leonard into screaming more. “What?” he gasped, still half asleep. “What is it? Bones? Are you okay?”

Spock, who as it turned out had somehow been _asleep_ during that display of demon possession, was woken by the noise and sat up, looking _almost_ concerned. As concerned as he ever did. _And damn right he should be concerned after what he did!_ Leonard thought.

“ _ **Your**_ green-blooded demon of a first officer was starin' at me with his damn soulless eyes!” Leonard exclaimed, gesturing angrily at the offender.

Jim blinked a few times. “What? _What?_ ” He was trying to shake off sleep, but his mind wasn't warming up as fast as Leonard wanted. He wanted **justice** for his poor sleeping.

“I believe he is referring to the Vulcan ability to sleep with one's eyes open,” said Spock. His voice was calm. Irritatingly calm.

“He stole all my blankets and then decided to wake me up with his Satanic voodoo eyes!” cried Leonard, pointing a finger at Spock and leaning across Jim so he was almost poking the Vulcan in the nose. Spock was going cross-eyed trying to keep Bones's finger in view.

“Bones, calm down,” Jim said authoritatively, although he was starting to look like he might laugh. “It's just how he sleeps sometimes. I've seen it before. It's a little startling, but it's nothing to – ”

“That's it!” Leonard said loudly. He got out of bed. “I am never sharing a bed with you two again. I'll sleep in the bathtub for the rest of the night!”

“Bones...” said Jim with an exasperated sigh, at the same time Spock said something about it being _highly illogical_. But Leonard had had quite enough.

“No!” cried Leonard as he snatched up a pillow. “No, Virgil! I am finished with your tour of hell! I've seen the Beast – ” here he pointed at Spock “ – and I'm ready to go home! Now if you _need me_ , I will be getting some well deserved shut-eye!”

With that, Leonard went into the bathroom and shut the door.

 

* * *

 

The sun was just coming over the horizon when Leonard felt the movement. He had managed to make himself a warm enough nest of blankets in the bathtub that he could _almost_ feel comfortable. But now he felt his blankets shifting, and weight being pressed against him.

“What the...” he started to grumble sleepily.

“Shhh,” said a voice. “Just go back to sleep. We're not even here.”

Leonard peeled open his eyes. At first he wasn't sure he believed what he saw. But the pressure against his body told him he had to be correct. _Jim and Spock were crawling into the bathtub with him!_

“Dammit, you two!” he hissed. “Go back to your bed and leave me the hell alone!”

“Spock got cold,” Jim said.

“It would appear that this planet's early morning temperatures are somewhat detrimental to my body,” added Spock as he settled half on Leonard's chest and half draped over Jim's back. “Your presence assisted in retaining my internal body temperatures. I require the continued warmth.”

Leonard just looked at the two of them, snuggling in like kids who got scared of lightning and needed their daddy. All because the damn hobgoblin got _cold_.

“You know what?” Leonard said sleepily. “I don't care anymore. Let's all just get some damn sleep.”

He shut his eyes resolutely and shifted to get comfortable. Despite being slightly crushed, it turned out that Jim's extra padding made him very pleasant to have cuddled against you. And Spock wasn't half bad himself – if a little bony and cold.

Spock decided to make himself known one more time before he could let Leonard sleep. “Thank you for your assistance, Doctor.”

Leonard sighed. “The pair of you are trying to ruin my life,” he decided, never opening his eyes.

He heard Jim chuckle quietly.

“We love you too, Bones.”

 

 


End file.
